The first of a series (OK, I have to date done 2) of faux Santa lists, this one from 2009
I have reviewed my year to date fully, and completely. I feel I have been 'a good boy' for a significant part of the year and as such I would like to put forward my Christmas List for consideration;
I would like:
A small puppy. Not a large puppy, or a tiny little rat type puppy, just a small one. Ideally some sort of Border Collie, or Springer Spaniel. I expect this puppy to come fully house trained, and to never grow old. This puppy should be named 'Badges' and like long walks, good music, and fine wine.
President Obama to be replaced. I am not entirely fussy how this replacement takes place, but something that is highly televised would be handy. Something a long the lines of an assassination, or a significant indiscretion on his part. I have nothing against Obama as per say, the reason for his removal is because I would like you to ensure that Jed Bartlett replaces him as President. I know that he is a fictional character and all... But he is so awesome it is difficult not to love him.
Some sort of infinite external HDD which contains all unique musical tracks, television episodes, and feature length films. This HDD would be tailored so that it knew exactly what mood I was in (possibly through some sort of nano-technology) and play exactly what I wanted at any given time.
A 16 strong, 4 team SAS trained task force. Just 'cos.
A pretty apt cuddling device, which gives cuddles on demand, any time, any place. This should come without the desire for conversation, the inevitability of arguments, and the tragedy of time. This should be a separate entity from point one.
More hours in the day, yet less days in the year. I propose a 30 hour day/212 day year. If you could make the sun and moon co-ordinate with this that would be epic.
The eradication of all diseases. And illness. And etc. Except from RAIDS. Mostly for the comic potential.
A H3.
A 'Time And Relative Dimension in Space' machine. And a Time Lord to drive it.
Some hair. If you could manage it. I seem to be losing mine at a somewhat alarming rate.
To be able to play hide and seek around Hamleys.
To have a little bit more money. Not a lot, just enough so I can live right now happily, without having to budget or anything of that sort. In fact, if you can get my work to pay me what I should be getting in 6 months now, that would be nice
To eliminate first impressions of me, and start over. Though, in fairness I do not believe I would actually behave much differently.
To set fire to that third bar.
Will power. So when I say I will get up early and do x, or I will go to bed early tonight, I actually follow it through [instead of staying up and writing faux Christmas Lists for my own personal entertainment].
If you could make the arrangements to have these provided/action-ed by day-break on Christmas Day 2009 that would be fantastic.
Yours
Craig Thomson (Aged 22) <
I would like:
A small puppy. Not a large puppy, or a tiny little rat type puppy, just a small one. Ideally some sort of Border Collie, or Springer Spaniel. I expect this puppy to come fully house trained, and to never grow old. This puppy should be named 'Badges' and like long walks, good music, and fine wine.
President Obama to be replaced. I am not entirely fussy how this replacement takes place, but something that is highly televised would be handy. Something a long the lines of an assassination, or a significant indiscretion on his part. I have nothing against Obama as per say, the reason for his removal is because I would like you to ensure that Jed Bartlett replaces him as President. I know that he is a fictional character and all... But he is so awesome it is difficult not to love him.
Some sort of infinite external HDD which contains all unique musical tracks, television episodes, and feature length films. This HDD would be tailored so that it knew exactly what mood I was in (possibly through some sort of nano-technology) and play exactly what I wanted at any given time.
A 16 strong, 4 team SAS trained task force. Just 'cos.
A pretty apt cuddling device, which gives cuddles on demand, any time, any place. This should come without the desire for conversation, the inevitability of arguments, and the tragedy of time. This should be a separate entity from point one.
More hours in the day, yet less days in the year. I propose a 30 hour day/212 day year. If you could make the sun and moon co-ordinate with this that would be epic.
The eradication of all diseases. And illness. And etc. Except from RAIDS. Mostly for the comic potential.
A H3.
A 'Time And Relative Dimension in Space' machine. And a Time Lord to drive it.
Some hair. If you could manage it. I seem to be losing mine at a somewhat alarming rate.
To be able to play hide and seek around Hamleys.
To have a little bit more money. Not a lot, just enough so I can live right now happily, without having to budget or anything of that sort. In fact, if you can get my work to pay me what I should be getting in 6 months now, that would be nice
To eliminate first impressions of me, and start over. Though, in fairness I do not believe I would actually behave much differently.
To set fire to that third bar.
Will power. So when I say I will get up early and do x, or I will go to bed early tonight, I actually follow it through [instead of staying up and writing faux Christmas Lists for my own personal entertainment].
If you could make the arrangements to have these provided/action-ed by day-break on Christmas Day 2009 that would be fantastic.
Yours
Craig Thomson (Aged 22) <
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